about the author

Patrick Haylock is a globally unrecognised writer who, if you discount a school sweet pea growing competition, has won no awards whatsoever!He was born in Enfield at a very dark time in the world.It was 1:45 am, to be precise, and it wasn’t too long before it dawned on him.To make something of himself he was going to need two things – the ability to tell the difference between a green onion and a scallion, and a good education.Wormley Primary and Baas Hill Comprehensive schools did their best to fulfil both requirements, and after giving them 12 years of his life, they gave him seven printed sheetsof paper, and the knowledge that there was no difference between a green onion and a scallion.He also learned that the difference between onions and bagpipes was that no one ever cries when you chop up bagpipes.The certificated wisdom secured a national newspaper messengers’ job, which led to an editorial trainee position, followed by a production editors post, and progression intofreelance journalism.‘Knowing his onions’ helped him to successfully establish his own publishing company, design studio, online retro webstore and high street art gallery.Patrick lives with his wife in a converted Old Essex Brewery, where he claims a 6% ABV air quality inspired him to craft this nutty tale.Although a ‘new voice’, in the literary world, those ‘in the know’ will willingly testify that his gift for imaginative storytelling is engaging, and, amusingly unique!Follow Patrick’s alter ego on twitter Patthequipper@twitter.com

about the book

Dave suffers from OCF – Obsessive Compulsive Fatalism.
Every day he is compelled to follow his online horoscope, and to actively seek out and participate in their prophesies.
One fated day, the signs are so compelling they embolden him to take a high stakes horse racing gamble.
The consequence of his wager will lead Dave into situations way beyond his control and comfort zone, and his path will be crossed by an intriguing hotchpotch of larger-than-life characters.
This eccentric bunch of strangers include a Benny Hill loving vicar, a transvestite, a hippy, a diamond thief, a sausage roll addicted Bank manager, an underworld female mechanic, an ’ungry man, some piranha fish, a chimpanzee and many others.
Pluto’s in Uranus! is the story of a ‘tryer’ whose lucky omens will come back to taunt him.
KUSHTI BOK!

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You Couldn’t make it up….but I did!

Once there was a man called Dave who had a problem. It sounds like a conventional idea for a story, but when Patrick Haylock writes a novel about it there is very little conventional about it. Dave ha ........

Grab a Copy of Pluto’s in Uranus Now!

My published book — Pluto’s in Uranus— is now available on the shelves in London’s oldest book store, Hatchard’s. Pluto’s in Uranus is available for £9.99 and will be dispatched to you in 10- ........

blogs

THE HUMOUR IS AS DRY AS THE SAHARA AND AS QUICK AS LIGHTNING!

After placing the bet Dave watched as Black Kitty transformed from Pegasus to pantomime horse. Had he followed team orders his betting slips would be worth ten grand. Instead he was clutching hold of ........

WE ALL NEED KUSHTI BOK!

A brilliant laugh out loud debut!If you love reading but sometimes feel a little lack lustre or fed up with your usual reads, then fear not because Pluto’s in Uranus has come to save the day and our s ........

IT’S A GLOBAL PHENONIUM!

This Christmas Jupiter and Saturn will become closer to each other than they have been for almost 800 years.It is an event that has set the world astrological community abuzz with the possible consequ ........

contact

Austin Macauley are one of the fastest-growing publishers, striving hard to give authors the best chance of succeeding in an increasingly crowded market. With headquarters in London, New York and Sharjah, Austin Macauley Publishers™ have established themselves as an energetic and innovative independent trade publishers.

Publisher Details

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Austin Macauley Publishers™ Ltd.

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London, E14 5AA

United Kingdom